Parents can be a challenge for teachers. They can also be our best supporters. There are times when simply meeting with a parent – even more so, a couple – puts everything into perspective immediately. Hearing parents talk about their children is immensely informative. Not necessarily the what, but the how.
I do recall one mother who could drive me a bit crazy, as could her daughter. Quite likely, insecurity was her driving force, though the personalities for both came across as domineering. I was surprised therefore, when this same mother gave me two of my favorite questions. We were talking about bullying and teasing and her daughter’s inclination to say, “I was just kidding.” This mother shared that her reaction to that response was always, “Well, who is it funny for?” Right to the heart of the matter, and a consideration that even fairly young children can appreciate.
The same mother also offered a wonderful defense for any child – or adult, for that matter – who is being teased or criticized for something. I learned from this mom to advise children who were teased for something out of their control like height, weight, accent, or other meaningless focus, to respond with, “Is that a problem for you?” Bullies have no idea how to deal with that.
The task of teaching children, whatever their ages, is ongoing. Whether we are parents, classroom teachers, or other adults in their lives, the challenge of helping them learn to be responsible and considerate citizens and friends is constant. Particularly in a time when adults are too often pitted against each other politically, and social media underscores division and allows anonymity, we can all be reminded of helpful responses. “Who is it funny for/” and “Is that a problem for you” work for any age.
Glass Full 